I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
