problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
