Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
