so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
