I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
