Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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