Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
