38 yer olds are good kisserssss
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
