Where are you?
In a non slutty way
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
