I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
