My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
