I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
