Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
