I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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