So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
fuck your aforementioned shoe
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
