Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
