So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
