I'm drive I can fine osifer
I don't think brook has ever known best
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
