Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
