the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
