I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
