we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
