there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
