I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
