reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
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I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
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the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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