Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
