I look better un-naked...
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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