I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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