Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
