Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
