Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
