If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize