Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
