I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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