Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I look better un-naked...
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
