He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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