Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
