don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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