So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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