i think my mom watched the whole time
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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