when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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