Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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