i jhust puked up my retainher.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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