after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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