Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
nutella sex= disaster
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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