You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
