I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
