nut hugger
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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