mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
