im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize