That's intense
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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