It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
