Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
