he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
