you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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